Come Dine With Me 2010: Part 2. Ushi's Sloughdog Millionaire Dinner

Photos by Jerome Taylor

I’d been putting it off for weeks. I’d delayed on setting a date, being somewhat intimidated by the prowess of the first hosts during the first instalment of our Come Dine With Me competition, and I was rather distracted by the looming deadline of my 15,000 word dissertation (hence the lack of blog posts in April and most of May 2010). I had a vague idea of the menu – it had been established early on that I’d be cooking Indian food, being the only type of food I could possibly cook more impressively than my talented friends, but I had no theme or plans for entertainment.

I had a vaguely advantageous situation as I’d convinced everyone to stay over at mine after the meal, hence could utilise the ‘get everyone too hammered to criticize’ game plan! I sought inspiration in the Pornstar Martinis discovered in Rotterdam, although I decided to re-invent them as martinis of the ‘Bollywood Star’ variety.

Inspiration along these lines, came only four days before the event itself. A recent visit to Slough Museum, combined with a re-watching of The Office had left me feeling much pride in the town I’d been living in for the last 9 months. So a Slough theme appealed, but I couldn’t think of a way to combine it with the Indian Menu, until inspiration hit…’Sloughdog Millionaire.’ A theme that was partly Bollywood, partly rejoicing in Slough (by virtue of being held there), and with some ‘Millionaire’ game show entertainment. Sorted. I sent out email invitations with mocked up Slumdog Millionaire posters which were received with some amusement (rather than ‘bemusement’ I hope) - no one even noticed I’d missed the ‘g’ out of ‘Slough’.

My main course and dessert I’d been testing on a number of guests over the previous few months, so I felt pretty confident with my chicken curry and vegetable rice with cucumber raita. My dessert – individual Baileys tiramisu wasn’t bad, but previous incarnations hadn’t been quite right in terms of cream and liquid and biscuit ratio. I had however sourced better receptacles for the individual desserts, and taken on board Sharon’s advice on soaking the biscuit fingers until they were oversaturated with liquid, and thinned out the layer of mascarpone and Baileys infused cream, so I was hopeful that these would turn out well. Previously I’d made them without any drama, but making eight of the things the night before, proved to be far more fiddly and tricky than I’d anticipated…a job I expected to take an hour at most, turned into three…

Cooking the chicken curry involved having to use my parents’ kitchen, a 7am start and the biggest steel pot and spoon I’ve ever seen (my mother never ceases to amaze me when she produces ridiculously gargantuan cooking implements out of nowhere). It was a great help though, and ensured good mixing of all the spices (fresh chilli, ginger and garlic green paste is the secret, as well as cloves and cinnamon sticks when you start cooking).

As I was hosting on my own, I’d been granted special dispensation from the group to enlist some help in the cooking. Whilst I’d been faffing around with the tiramisu for hours on the previous evening, my mum had made the samosas to accompany my Bollywood Star Martini starter. I was massively thankful as I battled with a vegetable curry – Aloo Gobi (potato and cauliflower curry), as well as an apple and coriander chutney for the samosas and the cucumber raita. Rice would be made after the starters were served.

Another challenge was seating – given I can normally only seat three. I was counting on borrowing a folding table from my parents that, was until the morning of the meal, as good as mythical. I’d never actually seen it before and there were mutterings from my dad and sister that it was broken. I finally saw it just a few hours before the guests arrived - massively relieved that it was fairly study and of a good size, (and there’s nothing like some heavy duty tape to stick a slightly broken table back together).

The food was mostly cooked by early afternoon, and I quickly prepared my menus – on individual red crepe paper scrolls tied with silver ribbon. Not as hand drawn or as beautiful as the previous dinner, but not bad for a last minute job.

Then to decorate the table – my tour de force was my Bollywoodised Place Names – Greg Rukh Khan, Salman Khan Foley, Kajol Jayasinghe, Aishwarya Aldred, Amitabh Taylor Buchan, Sofia Mitra Mukerjee, Preity Amie Zinta would be joining me, Madushi Dixit, for dinner. Flowers, menus, candle sticks, tea lights, sparkly table confetti and a little pot of bubbles each, made for a fairly crowded table, (and a slightly drunken, but luckily not too destructive table fire later on in the evening).

The full menu (complete with Bollywood film style Acts and Intervals) was presented as follows:

Act 1

Pink champagne on the Veranda

Bollywood Star Martini with Samosas

Act 2

Chicken Curry with Vegetable Rice

Aloo Gobi

Cucumber Raita

Chapattis & Naan Bread

Interval

Act 3

Individual Baileys Tiramisu

Chai

I’d covered the walls in saris, put songs from the emotion-fest that is bollywood film Khabbie Kushie Khabbie Gham on the DVD player, and I’d prepared Who want to be a Millionaire style multiple choice questions about my guests. Literally an hour before the guests arrived, I’d spotted a ‘Millionaire’ board game in the charity shop across the road, for a princely sum of £2. Theme sorted!

The guests arrived and pink champagne was calmly served (champagne flutes began the great use every type of glass possible mission). Guests took their seats, blowing bubbles and comparing whose Bollywood names whilst I got the Bollywood Star Martinis ready.

Passion fruit and mango juice, much vodka and gin, sugar, ice and passion fruit seeds, served with a separate shot of cava. I had lovely martini glasses for the girls and manly tumblers for the boys (made slightly less manly by neon squiggly straws), and shot glasses all the way from Uzbekistan. Samosas accompanied the drink along with an individual serving of the chutney. Much topping up of drinks, quickly bought with it a genial and slightly burry atmosphere. As a result, cooking vegetable rice and some token chapattis for the main course, was a challenge too far, so I went for straightforward plain rice instead and naan bread (and hoped no one would notice).

Serving up the main course with rice in little mounds, chicken curry in small bowls and individual ramekins of cucumber raita, didn’t leave much room for the Aloo Gobi, and left me thinking I’d taken the ‘individual’ thing a step too far.

The small napkin/candle table fire was luckily moved from table to sink without catching fire to the saris on the wall. Post meal silliness involved my personalised ‘millionaire’ questions, more bubble blowing and a new game…Face Table.  All you need to play is sparkly table confetti, a slightly moist face, and a table!

Photos by Jerome Taylor
 Dessert went down well – the tiramisu turned out far better on this occasion than ever before to my delight!  Chai (Indian tea) which I’d only really made once before that morning (my parents were guinea pigs), had been greeted with enthusiasm when the guests first saw the menu, and I was relieved that I hadn’t offered a choice of various post dinner hot beverages, as by this point in the evening, simplicity was by far the best plan.

The evening continued for many more hours in a similarly entertaining fashion. I’d surprisingly stopped caring about winning quite early on the evening, as just having pulled off the evening without any disasters, and with appreciative guests, seemed like a brilliant thing to have accomplished. I recorded a witty and erudite video diary entry on my view of the evening, to find at 2am when I was in my pyjamas and far worse for wear, that none of the recording had actually worked, and that we’d need to re-record all our thoughts. So the actual video (when we finally see them all after the last meal we have), will consist of my drunken incoherent mumblings about how I’m now too old to not be in pyjamas at 2am. Fitting I think.

(Many thanks to Jerome Taylor for his beautiful photos).